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Telltale Signs of Android Addiction

 Posted by on December 1, 2011  Add comments
Dec 012011

Ever since Android was released years ago, it has been sweeping many people off their feet, leaving them swooning and bedazzled as if it were their personal brand of heroin. Android is an intelligent, charming, enchanting green robot–and severely addictive.

Although Android’s charms don’t work on everyone, they do work for most people. Those who came from other mobile operating systems have never looked back after they met Android–lest they turn into pillars of salt. That allusion might be somewhat hyperbolic, but the point is that for many who have switched over to Android, there’s nothing more to turn back to. Android simply rocks and leaves in the dust whatever mobile operating platform they all used to latch on to.

This article won’t tell you why Android is enchanting. Let’s save that topic for another day. Instead, this article enumerates 20 signs and symptoms of Android addiction (or, call it irreversible infatuation, if you find that more euphemistic).

How do you know whether you or someone you know is high on Android? Here are the top tell-tale signs that you are unconditionally, irrevocably in love with Android (arranged in no particular order):

  1. You hear “Ice Cream Sandwich” and the first thought that pops up in your mind is not “snack” but “GALAXY Nexus.”
  2. You hear “Gingerbread” and you don’t remember Hansel, or Gretel, or their breadcrumb trail. Instead, you instantly recall Android.
  3. You find your old feature phone (dumbphone) in your drawer, turn it on, and start swiping and tapping on the screen–futilely. (Okay, okay, I admit that some feature phones do have touchscreens, but most others don’t.)
  4. You realize that you have an Android addiction, and your impulse is to search on the Android Market for “best apps to overcome Android addiction.”
  5. You pay more for paid Android apps than for groceries. You also tend to have more apps than friends.
  6. The number of apps in the Android Market is too few for you that you had to look for more apps in alternative, third-party app markets.
  7. You’ve bought more than one of these:

    …made something like this:

    …or molded something like this with your bare hands:

    …or crafted something like this with your graphics-editing hands:

  8. You’re subscribed to Android TidBits’ RSS feed, as well as other Android sites’ RSS feeds. You follow Android TidBits on Twitter, too, as well as keep yourself in the loop of tweets from other Android sites.
  9. You root your shiny, brand-new Android smartphone or Android tablet–in less than a few hours after you get your hands on it. “User” just doesn’t cut it for you–you have to add “super” to it. And, Superuser.apk is one of the most meaningful files to you.
  10. You strike off Android smartphones or Android tablets from your wish list if they are not rootable.
  11. You see anything with this color: ========== and your eyes brighten up with matching light bulb over your head, and you sigh, “Looks like the Android color.” You don’t call it “apple green” either. Instead, you refer to it as #A4C639.
  12. You feel as if the whole sky is falling down and the earth is swallowing you whole every time someone says something bad about Android or about your Android device. (A more severe manifestation of this condition is the strong urge–which you often give in to–to throw jabs, uppercuts, or any variation of punches, either literal or figurative or both, that a professional boxer employs.)
  13. You can’t go to sleep without this beside you:

    …or this within your embrace while you snore peacefully at night:

  14. You want to be one of the first to use the latest Android version. That’s why the GALAXY Nexus is the best phone in your eyes, even if there are other more powerful Android smartphones.
  15. When you come across new software, you wonder if there’s also a version for Android–more specifically, a version that runs on your Android smartphone or Android tablet.
  16. You are constantly annoyed that your Android smartphone or Android tablet could not do some of the things that your desktop, netbook, or laptop could do.
  17. You try hard to persuade people to switch over to Android. Your advocacy just falls a quarter inch short of going to the park and bringing placards.
  18. When shopping for your (first or next) Android smartphone or Android tablet, you look for one that reflects your personality and style, and one that suits your budget–and you most likely will find one, too.
  19. You’ve abandoned Arial and Times New Roman as the default fonts on your word processor. Roboto has taken their place. You use it on your blog, too. Or worse, you’re using the Android logo’s custom font as the default font for your blog. Never mind that readers find it hard to read. Arial, Times New Roman, generic serif fonts, and generic sans-serif fonts simply suck–and the Android logo font is better. Heck, you’ve even ditched Comic Sans for your blog.
  20. You want to call your son Andy.

What about you? Are you addicted to Android? What signs and manifestations are you exhibiting? Do you show signs that are not on this list? If so, let me know in the comments.

Image of crocheted Android robot courtesy of Christina Dugan (ChristinasYarnCrafts on Etsy); Android pillow courtesy of Justin (Craftsquatch on Etsy); 3D Android courtesy of Emperor-Monkey (deviantART). Android on placard uses image courtesy of Pug50 (Flickr).

  3 Responses to “Telltale Signs of Android Addiction”

  1. lol! loving your article! Think I might be an addict from reading your list.

  2. Simon, how deep is your Android addiction? :-)

  3. This blog post is really hilarious! I can truly relate to your number 1 and number 2. However, I’ve discovered that I’m not yet a certified Android addict. But in the future, I will surely take this blog post as a reference to assess myself if I’ve already become an addict.

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